by Linda Campanella

Big Sis
Little Sis


2 phones

Mom stands on one side of the stage with phone. 2 sisters stand on the other side.

Big Sis: (Picks up phone) Hello?

Mom: Hello, Sweetie.

Big Sis: Hi, Mom.

Mom: I just called to see how you are.

Big Sis: No problems here. How's Grandma?

Mom: She's doing much better. I'll be home sooner than I originally thought. Is everything okay?

Big Sis: Everything's fine. There's nothing to worry about.

Little Sis: (talks out loud, but Mom can't hear her) Since when did that ever stop her?

Big Sis: Quiet, I'm trying to talk to Mom.

Mom: Did you have any trouble making dinner?

Big Sis: Nope, dinner went fine.

Little Sis: If you like ashes.

Big Sis: If I have any questions, I know who to call.

Little Sis: Yeah, the fire department.

Mom: What did you have? Something healthy, I hope.

Big Sis: We weren't that hungry, so I just made vegetables. We had potatoes.

Little Sis: She means potato chips.

Big Sis: And beans.

Little Sis: Jelly beans.

Big Sis: And corn.

Little Sis: Candy corn.

Mom: That's good. I want you to limit how much junk food you two eat.

Big Sis: I did limit the junk food.

Little Sis: Limited to the amount your stomach can hold without barfing.

Mom: Are you doing your chores?

Big Sis: You'll find the house clean when you get back.

Little Sis: If you give us a two-day warning.

Mom: Did you remember to walk the dog?

Big Sis: We walked the dog every day.

Little Sis: Yep, from the couch to the fridge and back to the couch.

Mom: And make sure your little sister gets some exercise.

Big Sis: She got plenty of exercise.

Little Sis: Six hours of thumb exercises on the Playstation.

Mom: Did you do your homework?

Big Sis: I spent three hours studying economics.

Little Sis: If you count a trip to the mall.

Big Sis: Plus chemistry.

Little Sis: Making chocolate milkshakes.

Big Sis: And history.

Little Sis: Reruns of The Flintstones.

Mom: What time did you get to bed last night?

Big Sis: We were in bed by nine.

Little Sis: Nine AM.

Mom: Good girl.

Big Sis: I told you I could be responsible.

Little Sis: You're responsible for everything that's gone on while Mom was away.

Big Sis: In fact, if you want to stay at Grandma's another day or two, we'll be okay.

Mom: That's great, sweetie. One last thing: I want you to know I've been reading your Facebook page while I've been away. It's a pretty detailed record of everything you've been doing.

Big Sis: Oh.

Mom: Anything else you want to tell me?

Big Sis: Only that I'm going to ground myself for the next 2 months.

Mom: That's my responsible girl. See you soon.

(All exit)

copyright 2022-2023 by Linda Campanella and Whatsits Galore

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