MORE HOLMES: LESS IS MORE COMICS THE GEEK INTERPRETER A CHRISTMAS CAROL SHERLOCK HOLMES SHOPPE PASTICHE FILE BASIL OF BAKER STREET HOLMES PAGE

10 Things You Should Never Ask Sherlock Holmes "How's the weather up there?" "What do you think of Matt Frewer?" "Ever been to Norbury?" "So, who's the smartest man in London?" "Would you like to buy a ticket to the policeman's ball?" "Who do you like in the Oxford/Cambridge match?" "Did I tell you I sold your violin on Ebay?" "Why have you never been knighted?" "Have you ever met Sigmund Freud?" "Sherlock who?" 10 Canonical Ways to Off Your Enemy Sic a vicious dog on him A Webley Poisoned darts Snakebite Sink him in a quicksand bog A deadly Chinese fever Leave the gas jet on A charcoal brazier Jellyfish Toss him over a waterfall 10 Holmesian-Inspired Gifts for Every Occasion A gold soveriegn An unframed portrait of "Chinese" Gordon A beryl coronet A goose A dress of dove-grey silk with ostrich feather trim A subscription to The Lancet Chinese porcelain An emerald tie-pin A Collection of Clark Russell sea stories A Stradiverius 10 Holmesian-Inspired Gifts NOT to Give Box of severed ears A single dumb-bell Tickets to the Gasfitter's Ball A coal scuttle full of cigars The Dynamics of an Asteroid Lemur serum A Chinese tattoo Tickets for the Nora Creina An electric blue dress A brand new bell pull 10 Things Sherlock Holmes' Mother Might Say If She Came to Visit "This place is a mess! What do you pay that housekeeper for?" "I threw it away. What good is one slipper?" "I'm sure Mycroft could get you a nice, safe government job." "What do you mean, she's an actress?" "When am I going to see some grandchildren?" "You never wear the dressing gown I bought you." "If you'd only applied yourself, you could've been a doctor, too." "You look so thin and pale. Are you eating properly?" "Nice young ladies don't walk around London dressed in male costume." "Three whole years and you couldn't write?"

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