A Disney Essay
FOR DISNEY GIRLS ONLY
By Whatsits Galore
So, you're a Disney fan, a true believer, a Disneyophile extraordianire. You're also single, female, and looking. If you're shopping for a mate, girls, you have to be certain of one thing: your guy's got to be Disney compatible. He needs to match your DQ (Disney Quotient) if you want to find magic in pairs. But, you ask, how can I be sure? Before you say "I do", check out these ten warning signs to see if you've found Prince Charming or just another frog.
He calls Winnie the Pooh "Winnie". No, no, no. Pooh is acceptable, but Winnie, never.
He changes his favorites with every new movie. Yes, favorite songs, characters, and films can change over time, but beware the guy whose best picture is always the latest picture. You want your man to be steady as the beating drum, so avoid this fickle type.
He won't go on the "kiddie rides" with you at the Disney parks. What's the point? This one should seek help for the fun-challenged.
He thinks Bugs Bunny is a Disney character.
He can't tell Chip from Dale or Disneyland from Walt Disney World. And if he ever says "What difference does it make", run, don't walk away!
When watching a new Disney movie for the first time, he leaves before the credits are finished. 'Nuff said.
He can't figure out why you have three Peter Pan snowglobes. Oy! Collecting is part of the Disney experience. If he doesn't get it, he'll probably buy you a diamond bracelet for your anniversary, when you really wanted that Pumbaa plush toy.
He prefers any remake to the original film. Face it, Disney gal, he's not for you.
You say "Hercules", he thinks "Kevin Sorbo."
He wears a Goofy shirt with a Donald tie. Okay, this fellah's not entirely hopeless, Dearie, just a fashion faux pas. Work with him.