whatsits whatsits galore

galore

kolchak kolchak A CARL KOLCHAK
SURVIVAL GUIDE
by Whatsits Galore

Identify, Locate, Exterminate

The world is full of monsters, at least, according to the classic TV series Kolchak: the Night Stalker. If we ordinary humans are to survive, we need information, the who, what, where and how of monster-hunting. And who better to instruct the amateur creature-catcher than Carl Kolchak, seeker of fiends, hunter of ghouls, destroyer of evil? Here is a guide to the menaces faced by our intrepid reporter in the hope that it will aid you in in the fight against the monsters of our world. So, sharpen those stakes and explore the supernatural battlefield of The Night Stalker.

MORE MONSTERS:
WHO IS JACK THE RIPPER?
NIGHT STALKER GLITCHES
ALIEN EXPERIMENTS
DISNEY VILLAINS
vampire
WHO IS IT? Janos Skorzeny
WHAT IS IT? A vampire
WHERE IS IT FOUND? Las Vegas
WHAT DOES IT DO? Drains blood
HOW DO YOU STOP IT? Drive a wooden stake through his heart

strangler
WHO IS IT? Richard Malcolm/Malcolm Richards
WHAT IS IT? A very old man
WHERE IS IT FOUND? Beneath the streets of Seattle
WHAT DOES IT DO? Strangles victims
HOW DO YOU STOP IT? Destroy Elixir of Life before he can take it

ripper
WHO IS IT? Jack the Ripper
WHAT IS IT? See below
WHERE IS IT FOUND? Wilton Park
WHAT DOES IT DO? Slashes women
HOW DO YOU STOP IT? Electrify him

zombie
WHO IS IT? Francois Edmunds
WHAT IS IT? A zombie
WHERE IS IT FOUND? Places of the dead
WHAT DOES IT DO? Crushes spines
HOW DO YOU STOP IT? Fill his mouth with salt, place white candles around him, and sew his lips shut. Or, just strangle him

invisible
WHO IS IT? Unknown
WHAT IS IT? Invisible aliens
WHERE IS IT FOUND? In space
WHAT DOES IT DO? Extracts bone marrow
HOW DO YOU STOP IT? High-pitched sounds

vampire
WHO IS IT? Catherine Rawlins
WHAT IS IT? Another vampire
WHERE IS IT FOUND? Grace's Catering Service
WHAT DOES IT DO? Drinks blood
HOW DO YOU STOP IT? See above

werewolf
WHO IS IT? Bernhard Steiglitz
WHAT IS IT? A werewolf
WHERE IS IT FOUND? On a cruise ship
WHAT DOES IT DO? Mutilates during the full moon
HOW DO YOU STOP IT? Silver bullets

ghost
WHO IS IT? Frankie Markov
WHAT IS IT? A doppleganger
WHERE IS IT FOUND? Wherever conductor Ryder Bond should be
WHAT DOES IT DO? Causes spontaneous human combustion
HOW DO YOU STOP IT? Bring his remains to the place of his death and reunite body and spirit

dog
WHO IS IT? Robert D. Palmer
WHAT IS IT? Politician from Perdition
WHERE IS IT FOUND? US senatorial race
WHAT DOES IT DO? Whatever it takes: changes into a dog, drops elevators, crashes cars, blows up yachts...
HOW DO YOU STOP IT? Drop his medallion in holy water

diablero
WHO IS IT? Unknown
WHAT IS IT? A Diablero
WHERE IS IT FOUND? The Champion Towers high-rise building
WHAT DOES IT DO? Transforms into animals; puts victims in a trance; steals jewels
HOW DO YOU STOP IT? Show him his own gaze in a mirror

peremalfait
WHO IS IT? Peremalfáit
WHAT IS IT? The Bogey Man
WHERE IS IT FOUND? In the sewer
WHAT DOES IT DO? Squeezes the life out of you
HOW DO YOU STOP IT? Stick him with a spear made of Bayou gum

matchemonedo
WHO IS IT? Matchemonedo
WHAT IS IT? An invisible bear-god
WHERE IS IT FOUND? Downtown Chicago, even before it was Chicago
WHAT DOES IT DO? Congeals plasma in victim's body
HOW DO YOU STOP IT? Freeze him with liquid nitrogen, frigid lake waters, or even a fire extinguisher

rakshasa
WHO IS IT? Rakshasa
WHAT IS IT? Evil flesh-eating spirit
WHERE IS IT FOUND? Can appear anywhere
WHAT DOES IT DO? Possesses a man's mind to make him see the image of someone he trusts
HOW DO YOU STOP IT? Crossbow with arrows blessed by the Hindu god Brahmin

robot
WHO IS IT? Mr. R.I.N.G.
WHAT IS IT? Misunderstood homicidal robot
WHERE IS IT FOUND? Tyrell Industries
WHAT DOES IT DO? Smashes everything in its path
HOW DO YOU STOP IT? A bullet to the electronic brain

ape
WHO IS IT? Inapplicable
WHAT IS IT? Collection of thawed cells from the Arctic
WHERE IS IT FOUND? Tunnels under the old Chicago Stadium
WHAT DOES IT DO? Tears victims limb from limb
HOW DO YOU STOP IT? Tranquilizer darts

witch
WHO IS IT? Madelaine Perkins
WHAT IS IT? A witch
WHERE IS IT FOUND? The heart of Chicago's high-fashion district
WHAT DOES IT DO? Attacks with marauding manequins, killer kitties, etc.
HOW DO YOU STOP IT? Publicly accuse her of practicing witchcraft

motorcycle
WHO IS IT? Harold "Sword Man" Baker
WHAT IS IT? Headless motorcycle-riding corpse
WHERE IS IT FOUND? His head's in the Cook County warehouse
WHAT DOES IT DO? Decapitates victims
HOW DO YOU STOP IT? Return the head to the body

succubus
WHO IS IT? Inapplicable
WHAT IS IT? Succubus
WHERE IS IT FOUND? Illinois State Tech campus
WHAT DOES IT DO? Scares young men to death
HOW DO YOU STOP IT? Destroy the ancient clay tablet

nanautzin
WHO IS IT? Nanautzin
WHAT IS IT? Mummified warrior leader of the cult of Tezcatlipoca
WHERE IS IT FOUND? The highest staircase in town
WHAT DOES IT DO? Cuts out victim's heart
HOW DO YOU STOP IT? Wait until Venus rises

knight
WHO IS IT? Guy de Mettancoeur
WHAT IS IT? The Black Cross Knight
WHERE IS IT FOUND? Hydecker Museum
WHAT DOES IT DO? Cleaves enemies in twain with medieval weapons
HOW DO YOU STOP IT? A blessed battle-ax

helen
WHO IS IT? Helen Surtees, alias Helen of Troy
WHAT IS IT? Immortal beauty
WHERE IS IT FOUND? Max Match computer dating service
WHAT DOES IT DO? Ages victims to death
HOW DO YOU STOP IT? Get her to offer an imperfect sacrifice and let Hecate take care of her

sentry
WHO IS IT? Inapplicable
WHAT IS IT? Bipedal reptile
WHERE IS IT FOUND? Merrymount Archive Inc.
WHAT DOES IT DO? Bites victims
HOW DO YOU STOP IT? Return its eggs

rpg

jack trek

WHO OR WHAT IS
JACK THE RIPPER?

It's the most famous unsolved crime of all time and one of Carl Kolchak's first recorded adventures. But just who was Jack the Ripper?

Historically, little is known about the celebrated serial killer, except that in 1888, he knifed and mutilated five or more women in the Whitechapel District of London. He was never caught or even identified, although theories abound, along with a steady stream of new revalations, secret diaries and supressed files continually surfacing. Still, the truth remains unproven.

Perhaps the question for Ripperologists should be, "What was Jack the Ripper?" Night Stalker viewers know the truth about the elusive killer, but not the whole truth. Although Carl discovered that the Chicago ripper was responsible for a chain of serial murders covering a hundred years, his name and origin remain a mystery. He appears to be an ordinary man, but appearances are deceiving. Not only is he uncommonly strong, but he can also leap over parked cars and shrug off bullets. Seemingly unkillable, the villain is impervious to blows, falls, strangulation, and old age. The only thing that can stop him is electricity. In short, this is not your average mass-murderer.

If we want to know more about Saucy Jack, we must look further afield, to another classic TV series, the original Star Trek. In the episode enitled Wolf in the Fold, the Enterprise crew becomes entangled in a series of knife murders on a distant planet, committed by an unknown assailant. Like Kolchak, Mr. Spock does the research and comes to a similar conclusion: that a series of unsolved murders through the ages were in fact all perpetrated by the same person, the man called Jack the Ripper. But Capt. Kirk and crew discover an interesting twist, namely that an incorporeal alien which feeds on fear is able to possess physical bodies, living or dead, and use them to commit murders; its sole purpose is to generate terror and thereby nourish itself.

Carl stopped the Ripper in the 20th century by electrocution, which utterly destroyed the body, leaving nothing but a shoe. In some way, the alien was forced out by the shock, leaving the hundred-year-old corpse to disintegrate into dust. Unknown to the reporter, however, the alien entity survived, moving on to possess other bodies and perpetrate other crimes. Centuries in the future, it vacated Earth, leaving a bloody trail to the planet Argelius and its current body, Commissioner Hengist. Kirk and Spock deduced that the alien would be harmless if it inhabited a sufficiently tranquilized body, and thus subdued it long enough to beam it into space as a cloud of dispersed atoms.

So the centuries-long menace of Jack the Ripper was ended. Unless the alien, about which so little is known, might eventually be able to re-form its scattered molecules. Perhaps someday the Ripper will return for some tireless though unappreciated reporter of the future to investigate and defeat for the sake of mankind.

All characters & images © Universal and are used for fan purposes only
All other content © 2008-2014 Whatsits Galore

email

Links:
Kolchak: The Night Stalker Glitches
TV Glitches
World's Longest Yard Sale
Greatest American Hero Fed-Speak
Disney Home Page
Skits & Bits
The Ballad of Gilligan's Trial
Collectibles For Sale
Testimonials
Star Trek Poster Gallery
Sherlock Holmes
Our Trade List
Get Smart Catchphrases
Panini Stickers
Tarzan's Dictionary
Home Base
The Death of Death
A Christmas Quiz
Site Map
Search the Web

Powered by WebRing.

Site Meter